he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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