I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
