I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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