I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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