She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
