i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You pole danced in your parka.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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