I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
