U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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