I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Someone came in the potted fern
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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