So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize