drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
