I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
