I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
