Swine flu. Run for my life!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
