I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
