No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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