i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
