Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
