The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
