You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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