did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
