Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
