Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
