I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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