She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
