from now on my penis is your penis
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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