You're completely useless in the revolution.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
