Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
