Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
