how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize