So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
