so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
