yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
