I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize