I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
where does the pee come out of this thing
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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