SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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