I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
