I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
