Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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