just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
whose parrot is this?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
