We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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