apparently the secret to your success is patron
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
