The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
