some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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