butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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