sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
