She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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