His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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