Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
