Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is wine microwaveable?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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