we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
3 2 1 whiskey
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
