oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
