no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
