Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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