Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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