wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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