You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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