She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
