is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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