I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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