She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
