Tell her she can't have a vagina
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
