Will you blow on my dice?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
please come you make the beer taste better
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
