my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
